專項高分突破：名師幫你修改考研英語作文(3)

第三篇（月亮平凡）

　　As is suggested by the picture (,) a man is walking and singing happily with a basket in his left hand and a briefcase in his right, while his dog is also running happily (along) with him. As is suggested in the picture,(It can be easily drawn from the picture that)  the man must(can) be excesing(exercising like) by waving the basket and the briefcse(briefcase) together wherever and whenever you can excise(\) if you want.

　　The picture is thought-provoking in that it endeavors to convince its audience(reader) that wherever and whenever(\) you can excise if you want(regardless of place and time). Nowdays (Nowadays), more and more people are working in the office and engaging in brain action (activity), as a result, most of them are lack of phiscal(phisycal) movement which add to their unhealthness (poor health). Some of them argue that they are so busy that they can't even squeenze (squeeze) time out to do excises in gym,(.) (But) but just as the picture depicts, if you would like to, you can excese(do it) when you are walking on the road, sitting on a bus, or even laying on the bed, which(all) depends on wheather (whether) you have a consciousness of excise(exercise).

　　I reckon that the consiousness(consciousness) of keeping healthy(exercising) is impotant (important) to both the individual and the socialty(society). On the individual level(part) it can impove (improve) your quality of life like the man in the picture with good health and mood. On the social level(aspect) it can contribute to a harmonious society.

Sara點評：16分，與恩波VIP學員水平相當，文章整個結構和單詞的運用都很到位，只要稍稍注意個別相近詞的區(qū)別和單詞的書寫。上兩篇作文中都出現(xiàn)了單詞拼寫錯誤的現(xiàn)象，恩波老師提醒各位考生：沒有把握寫正確的單詞，一定要慎用，以免給閱卷老師留下不好的印象，造成判分過低。