高分范文

　　There is no doubt that this cartoon vividly depicts a negative but rampant scenario in modern society: commercial bribery. Frightened by the sharp punishment sword, the man, carrying a large pile of money used as bribery①, is trying his best to escape. What is conveyed by the drawing is both realistic and thought-provoking。

　　The implication of the given picture can be elaborated in terms of the decline of work-moral values and the view on money. For one thing, commercial bribery has a very damaging and destructive② effect on the whole society. Firstly, moral deficiencies as well as the humanity weakness revealed in the action of bribery③ may stain and pollute the atmosphere of professional ethics and cause others to copy. Secondly, fair competition may be threatened because bribery puts honest businessmen at a disadvantaged position. For another, the bad behavior of commercial bribery is largely driven by “profit”， showing that those people who are involved in bribery do not have a right view on money. It is true that money is indispensable④, but, there is no denying that money should be obtained and spent in a reasonable, wise and legitimate way。

　　To eliminate the immoral behavior of bribery thoroughly⑤, drastic actions should be taken and severe punishment measures should be adopted. Besides, a positive mental guidance on the right attitude to money should be popularized among the public. Only in this way can we have a fair and sound social environment。

　　佳作妙譯

　　毫無疑問這幅漫畫生動地描述了現(xiàn)代社會一種負面的但是卻十分猖獗的現(xiàn)象：商業(yè)賄賂。由于懼怕嚴厲的懲罰，這個人背著一大堆賄賂用的錢落荒而逃。漫畫的寓意是十分現(xiàn)實并發(fā)人深思的。

　　上圖的寓意可以理解為詳細闡述了在金錢沖擊下職業(yè)道德的淪陷。一方面，商業(yè)賄賂對全社會造成惡劣的、毀滅性的影響。首先在賄賂行為中表現(xiàn)出的道德缺陷和人性弱點會破壞和污染職業(yè)道德的氛圍，不良分子也會效仿。其次，行賄者將破壞公平競爭，誠信經營的商人被置于不利地位。另一方面，商業(yè)賄賂行為大多是被利益驅動的，這說明這些人對金錢沒有正確的態(tài)度。沒有金錢的確是萬萬不能的，但對待金錢，無疑需要取之有道，用之有度。

　　為了徹底根除賄賂這種道德敗壞的行為，應該采取嚴厲的懲罰措施。另外，應該在公眾中逐漸普及正確的金錢觀。只有這樣，我們才能擁有公平、健全的社會環(huán)境。

　　名師點評

　　① money used as bribery: 過去分詞作定語=定語從句。

　　寫過去分詞做定語的步驟：

　　第一步：寫成定語從句：money which is used as bribery;

　　第二步：省略引導詞“which”和be動詞“is”變成money used as bribery。

　　這樣，一個定語從句就變成了過去分詞做定語。

　�、� damaging and destructive: 近義詞疊用，押韻：頭韻

　�、� revealed in the action of bribery: 過去分詞作定語，修飾前面的moral deficiencies as well as the humanity weakness，寫法參考本文點評第① 條。

　�、� It is true that money is indispensable: It作形式主語，真正的主語是that從句。

　�、� To eliminate the immoral behavior of…: 為了……。作目的狀語。

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