上海新東方：2009年1月考研英語作文點(diǎn)評

　　考研是改變?nèi)松�的拼搏。為了�?zhǔn)備這場拼搏，很多同學(xué)在題海中度過無數(shù)個(gè)不眠之夜。其實(shí)，如果能夠掌握規(guī)律，考試原來不像想象的那樣難，改變?nèi)松�的拼搏原來可以贏得比較輕松。

　　就拿今年的考研英語來講，其中的寫作部分就很好準(zhǔn)備：假如你聽過上海新東方學(xué)校汪海濤老師的課，你就會驚喜地發(fā)現(xiàn)這正是他命中的原題!假如你背過汪老師講義中的范文，你就會毫不意外的拿到大作文滿分 - 這樣的文章不可能有考生能夠臨場寫出!

　　同樣作為上海新東方的考研寫作教師，我曾在考試之前我再三向同學(xué)強(qiáng)調(diào)：今年大作文幾乎不可能再像前兩年一樣考"Statement of a Truth"類文章，不出意外肯定考 "現(xiàn)象分析"!并且在我第一節(jié)課讓大家認(rèn)真準(zhǔn)備的題目里，就包括下面這幅漫畫：

　　現(xiàn)代人的交流時(shí)尚 --- 從來不和鄰居說話，卻熱衷于網(wǎng)上聊天"，這幅漫畫的寓意和今年考試的漫畫完全相同。那么拿到這樣的題目應(yīng)該如何寫出一篇高分作文?下面我們就通過賞析汪海濤老師的文章，學(xué)習(xí)在這種文章中我們可以采取哪些應(yīng)對手段：

　　The past decade has witnessed an increasingly inseparable relationship between man and Internet. As is vividly depicted in the picture, within a stretching spider web many people are surfing on line, either to entertain themselves or to meet the work's needs. Actually on-line visiting has become a routine activity in our everyday life. However, it seems rather ironic to present people separated from each other by the spider web when they attempt to communicate.

　　首先看開頭段。背景介紹是開頭段的常見寫法。提到背景介紹，有些同學(xué)還停留在"With the development of modern society..."的水平上，這種表達(dá)方式屬于典型的陳詞濫調(diào)會引起不少閱卷人的反感。本文通過witness這個(gè)動詞寫出一個(gè)以時(shí)間作主語的經(jīng)典句型。第二句以As is vividly depicted in the picture引出對圖畫的描寫，這樣就縮小了話題，為下文的討論引出有源之水。段中actually, however 和either... or等連詞的使用使整個(gè)段落既聯(lián)成一體又跌宕起伏。本段前面三句的背景介紹和圖畫描寫起到引出主題的作用(topic introducer)。 However轉(zhuǎn)折句中rather ironic 明確表明作者對這種現(xiàn)象的立場，開宗明義，旗幟鮮明，可以看作全文中心思想句(theme)。

　　The metaphoric and impressive portrayal has subtly revealed the duality of the relationship between man and Internet. The spider web undoubtedly serves as a symbol of Internet, both connecting people and isolating them from each other. On the one hand, there is no denying that Internet is currently one of the most efficient media used for interpersonal communication. As a college student, I get on line everyday to discuss news with other people on BBS, to study English by registering for web courses, to chat freely through e-mails with my friends. Being a veteran on-line shopper, I frequently bargain with sellers to purchase books at much lower prices. But on the other hand, a good many people admit that they are too much addicted to Internet to maintain face-to-face contact with their friends and colleagues. Cyber-living resembles the experience of seeing disguised people behind a mask, maintaining distance between one another. Once indulged in the fictitious world, people feel reluctant to approach others and to concentrate on real life. That's why some people have lost the skill of direct contact and get alienated from others.

　　主體段中，作者用reveal一詞再次點(diǎn)題。第二句both connecting people and isolating them from each other 進(jìn)一步點(diǎn)明主題，這是本段主題句，它明確告訴讀者下文將要分析這種現(xiàn)象的正反兩方面影響。On the one hand引出網(wǎng)絡(luò)的正面影響。為了證明自己的觀點(diǎn)，作者舉自己為例 - 這樣的例子特別有說服力。舉例可詳可略，這里特別值得考生學(xué)習(xí)的是作者用了三個(gè)動詞不定式的排比結(jié)構(gòu)to discuss news with other people on BBS, to study English by registering for web courses, to chat freely through e-mails with my friends既避免了籠統(tǒng)抽象又使行文流暢讀起來一氣呵成。On the other hand 之后作者提出這種現(xiàn)象的負(fù)面影響，這樣正反論述客觀全面切合了命題中 "近"與"遠(yuǎn)"的題意。這一部分中，the experience of seeing disguised people behind a mask, maintaining distance between one another句中動名詞的排比結(jié)構(gòu)在給讀者一種整齊美的同時(shí)透出了變化。為了這種變化美，作者還有意識不停改變句子開頭的方式，如Being a veteran on-line shopper句用現(xiàn)在分詞起句，而Once indulged in the fictitious world句則用連詞+過去分詞起句。這些都是為了"文貴多變"的目的。

　　Therefore, it is necessary for us to use Internet in a reasonable way and restrain from addiction. After all, Internet is invented to connect you and me, and to bring conveniences to our life rather than set a barrier to keep people beyond reach.

　　兩段華美的comment之后，文章逐漸收攏漸趨平實(shí)。結(jié)尾段主要是提建議(suggestion and solution)。it is necessary for us 就是一個(gè)很實(shí)用的建議句型。然后，作者用After all轉(zhuǎn)變筆鋒，進(jìn)一步提出自己的這種現(xiàn)象的final evaluation。其中rather than 結(jié)構(gòu)不僅用了比喻的修辭手段而且再次切合了題意中的"近"與"遠(yuǎn)"�？梢哉f全文緊扣題旨，收放自如。全文思路清晰，但自然流暢沒有目前市面應(yīng)試作文中令人生惡的"模版"味。全文用詞典雅莊重、句式輕靈多變，這些都是值得考生學(xué)習(xí)的大家風(fēng)范。

　　題海信有舟，只度有心人!

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