 |
 |
 |
 |
英文Brat or Budding Genius? Lessons From Bill Gates’ Childhood
Any parent who has ever lost his or her temper with an unruly middle-schooler can take comfort from the story of Bill Gates’ family: The parents of one of the world’s richest men sent him to counseling at age 12 for bad behavior.
In interviews with the Wall Street Journal, the software tycoon and his family members, including his father Bill Gates Sr., now co-chair of his son’s $30-billion philanthropy, for the first time shared many details of raising young Bill. They told of a close 1950s-era family that played board games, cards and ping-pong together, and stuck to routines, such as regular Sunday family dinners. Bill’s mother Mary, described as an active volunteer who did most of the day-to-day parenting, imposed strict behavior standards on her three kids. Young Bill, the middle child, was a diligent learner, reading a whole set of encyclopedias.
At age 11, the senior Mr. Gates says, young Bill seemed to fast-forward intellectually and became very argumentative and an increasing headache for his family. He had explosive arguments with his mother. As she struggled to control him, Bill rebelled over everything from cleaning his room to getting to dinner on time. He ’was nasty,’ his sister says. Even Bill says he behaved with ’utter, total sarcastic, smart-ass kid rudeness.’
In a rare blast of temper over dinner one night, the elder Mr. Gates reacted to a bitter mother-son argument by pitching a glass of cold water in young Bill’s face. His worried parents quickly took Bill to a counselor; Bill told the therapist he was ’at war with my parents over who is in control.’ The counselor advised his parents to ease up a bit, telling them that young Bill would ultimately win the battle for independence.
The Gates’ experience isn’t unusual with boys ages 11 to 13, says psychologist Michael Thompson in a recent book with co-author Teresa Barker on raising boys. Many withdraw at this stage as they strive to develop an independent, more adult identity. But if a boy becomes truly disrespectful and disconnected, he’s at risk for depression or destructive behavior. Parents must step back a bit and start picking their battles ─ insisting on respect while still helping him move toward manhood.
The Gates quickly did that, backing off the battle of wills. They afforded Bill an independence unusual for a 13-year-old, allowing him to take off at night to use the computers at the University of Washington. He spent a lot of time away from home, living in Washington, D.C., as a congressional page; he took a break from school his senior year to work as a programmer.
More information from the Gates family is due out today, in a new book by the senior Mr. Gates, who is 83, about his life and principles.
Readers, have you seen strong-willed kids with leadership or creative abilities cause their parents particular problems when they’re young? How can a parent tell the difference between a brat and a budding genius?
Sue Shellenbarger
