范文17. My View on Fate
There is no consensus of opinions among people as to the view of fate. Some people believe that everyone is born to a certain that he can not change, while some other people think that every man is the master of his own life.
注:1. consensus 相同意見
2. 第一句話可以套用,如范文18:There is no consensus of opinions among people as to the view of wealth.
3. while 輕微轉(zhuǎn)折和對比,強轉(zhuǎn)折用詞but, however 4. master 主人
As far as I am concerned, I agree with the latter opinion. There is a saying, “Everyone is the architect of his own future.” Which means one’s fate is decided in his own hands. In fact, no one is destined to a certain fate in his or her life. Those who claim that they were born to fail or be unlucky just can’t realize how much inner strength and ability they have. We must depend on ourselves to changes our lives and make us successful and happy.
注:1. 第一句as far as與I agree重復(fù),把后半句改為the latter opinion seems more reasonable。
2. architect 建筑師,archor 弓箭手
3. In fact 前后是轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系,之前從正面闡述,之后從反面闡述
范文17. My View on Fate (續(xù))
Let’s take Helen Keller, an extraordinary American woman, for example. When she was only 19 months old, she became blind and deaf. Instead of accepting her misfortune helplessly, she showed great courage and unconquerable spirit in fighting against her destined fate and was awarded the President’s Medal of Freedom in 1964 because of the achievements she had made for helping the blind, the deaf and the speechless. This story tells us that a wise man is always creating his own fate rather than waiting for good luck.
注:1. 本段開始舉例
2. Let's take……for example 中間是插入語,表示強調(diào),舉例不宜太長。
In conclusion, I believe that everyone is born equal and is the builder of his own fate We can have good fortune only if we take pains and work hard. We should bear the following saying in mind, “Every man is the master of his own fate.”
注:bear sth. in mind:把……牢記在心
范文13. The Way to Success
第二段:Strong will, perseverance and diligence are the three essentials of success. A man of strong will and perseverance always has an inflexible spirit. He sticks to his cause no matter how tough it might be. Dr. Sun Yat-sen was such a man. Many of his attempts failed, but he held to his purpose with firmness and finally succeeded in overthrowing the Qing Dynasty. Diligence means steadiness in one’s work and study. Su Qin stabbed himself in order to keep attentive to studies. Marx often worked 15 hours a day. Life is short and we have many things to do. Without diligence no one can achieve anything.
II、社會熱點話題寫作邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)
Paragraph 1: (1) 概括性的引出要評論的事物或觀點(general);
(2) 具體描述這個事物或者觀點(或者是我對這個現(xiàn)象/ 事物的基本看法specific)。
Paragraph 2: (1) 作者對該現(xiàn)象貨問題的基本看法,即文章的論點句;
(2) 支持性的細(xì)節(jié)分論點(至少兩點);
(3) 本段總結(jié)(可以省略)。
Paragraph 3: (1) 總結(jié)全文,定下結(jié)論(通常為我的對策或看法)。
四級作文試題2000年1月
Directions:
For this part, you are allowed thirty minutes to write a composition on the topic How I Finance my College Education. You should write at least 100 words, and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:
1. 上大學(xué)的費用(tuition and fees)可以通過多多種途徑解決。
2. 哪種途徑適合我(說明理由)。
How I Finance My College Education
How I Finance My College Education
第一段:首先,應(yīng)該是用一種描述性的語言引出討論的重點:
Nowadays/ At present/ Currently/ These days/ Today, tuitions and fees for college students are 【more expensive】 much higher than ever before. How to finance my college education has become a matter of concern.
第二段:有多種的方法,例如:1.向父母; 2.銀行貸款 3.打工掙錢
第二段主題句:There are many ways to support my college education financially./ Ways to support my university study financially vary greatly/ are various.
第二段分寫:
In the first place, I can get/ gain/ obtain all the money from my parents.
In the second place, I can apply for/ ask for a bank loan, especially set up/ established for college students/ undergraduates.
What’s more, I can find a part time job to earn enough money.
第三段:我所贊同的方法(闡述原因,為何不選其他的方法)。
Personally/ As far as I’m concerned/ In my opinion/ From my point of view/ To my way of thinking/ As I see it, I prefer the bank loan for the following reasons.
For one thing, my parents are not rich enough to afford me.
For another, I will not have enough time and energy to study after finishing my part-time/ temporary/ odd jobs.
In addition, I believe I can hunt a rewarding/ dream job after graduation, and then I will be able to pay off/ pay back/ return/ give back.
Therefore /So /Hence,.....
使文章富有表現(xiàn)力的手段:
1、使用有難度的詞匯;
2、使用形容詞修飾名詞,用副詞修飾動詞或整個句子;
3、使用被動語態(tài);
4、使用倒裝句;(not only... but also...;only...)
5、盡可能地使用名詞,而不是習(xí)慣中的動詞和形容詞。
綠化我們的城市
第一段:
近年來,隨著工商業(yè)的迅猛發(fā)展,許多大城市中樹木的數(shù)量大幅度降低。人們作出各種努力防止樹木被砍伐,但是,認(rèn)識到綠化城市也同樣重要。
普通版
Recently, with the development of businesses and industries, more and more trees have disappeared in big cities. We have tried our best to prevent people from cutting trees. But, it is important to realize to make our cities green.
潤色版
In contemporary society, while our industries and businesses have experienced a(n) rapid/ fast/ amazing/ marked/ fantastic development, the number of trees in many large cities has declined/ decreased/ reduced sharply/ dramatically. Although remarkable efforts have been exerted to prevent more trees from being cut, the realization of making cities greener is still of great importance.
注:區(qū)分industry 和 industrial
綠化我們的城市(續(xù))
第二段:
綠化城市會帶來很多好處。其一,綠化城市能夠凈化空氣?茖W(xué)研究已經(jīng)證明樹木通過吸收作用可以降低大氣中碳化合物的含量。其二,它能夠美化城市。到處是花草樹木,我們會欣然地感到自己置身于美麗的花園中。最后,綠化城市能夠帶來大量木材,這是解決自然資源短缺的有效辦法。
普通版
There are many advantages in making cities greener. First, it makes our air clean. Scientific research has proved that trees can reduce a great amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere through absorption. Second, it adds to the beauty of our cities. With trees and flowers everywhere, there is a pleasant feeling that we live in a beautiful garden and are closer to nature. Finally, it will bring us a lot of timber. And this is an effective way to solve the problem of lack of natural resources.
潤色版
What benefits can the program of making cities greener bring to us? First, the air will be cleaner. Scientific experiments have already proved that trees can reduce air pollution by producing a lot of oxygen. This will improve the quality of the urban environment. Second, our cities will look more beautiful. Just imagine the city which is full of trees and flowers. What an attractive garden it is! What’s more, by making cities greener, we can provide our industry with timber the precious natural resources.
綠化我們的城市(續(xù))
第三段:
綠化城市需要全國人民共同努力,人們不僅要廣泛認(rèn)識到城市綠化對城市環(huán)境的貢獻,還應(yīng)該同心協(xié)力栽植更多的樹木并保護它們不受商業(yè)使用的侵犯。
普通版
Making cities greener requires people’s efforts all over the country. And people should not only realize that it is important to make cities greener for its contribution to urban environment, but also plant trees and protect them from being used in business.
潤色版
Making cities greener requires more than widespread awareness; it calls for an immediate commitment to planting more trees and growing more flowers.
(Making cities greener requires the whole nation’s efforts. And not only should most people gain the awareness of the significant contribution of making cities greener to urban environment, but also make a commitment to the protection of more trees against business.)
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