2012年12月英語四六級寫作技巧：變化才是真

　　Stylish English has…

　　Variety Brevity is not always a virtue

　　變化才是真

　　簡短未必是美德

　　許多人將簡潔與簡短混為一談，其實二有很大區(qū)別。簡潔的主旨是用盡量少的詞匯講述整個故事，簡短的主旨則是為保持文章篇幅短小，精心撰寫或隨意刪除文中的某些詞語或章節(jié)。

　　簡潔并不意味著總寫短句子。事實上，如果句式缺乏變化，文章就會顯得支離破碎，缺少聯(lián)系，讓人覺得寫作技巧貧乏。句式的變化能令文章協(xié)調(diào)而流暢，會讓讀者感覺到作者對主題把握得游刃有余。雖然短句沒什么語法錯誤，但用得太多會使本應合在一起的意思分離開來。

　　記�。翰灰�使用一串串短的、支離破碎的句子。要理清自己的思路，盡量使句子長度有所變化。

　　例:

　　Before: The Art of Strategy was written by Sun Tzu. It is a fifty-six-hundred-word Chinese classical work. The writer put forth a set of principles in a very tightly compressed manner. They deal with how to defeat oppositions and win battles.

　　這種表達的問題在于：

　　(1) 簡單的“主語+謂語”結(jié)構(gòu)太多;

　　(2) "written"和"writer",　"The Art of Strategy"和" It"，"set of principles"和" they"為重復用語;

　　(3) 讀起來很單調(diào)。

　　After：In his fifty-six-hundred word classic, The Art of Strategy, Sun Tzu put forth a tightly compressed set of principles for achieving triumph over opposition.

　　介詞結(jié)構(gòu)+同位語+主語+謂語的形式比較好，因為將"Sun Tzu" 放到了最重要成分-主語的位置，其他成分按邏輯排序居次要地位。整個句子很流暢。

　　再看下面各例

　　Choppy: Of course, the weapons at Sun Tzu’s time were quite primitive. The armies were very large. They were nearly as large as those in World War Two. The devastation and human sufferings were just as profound as in World War Two.

　　Better: Compared with World War Two, the weapons at Sun Tzu’s time were quite primitive, but the armies were nearly as large and the devastation and human suffering just as profound.

　　Choppy: Proverbs are short sayings. They are drawn from long experience.

　　Better: Proverbs are short sayings drawn from long experience.

　　Choppy: People change and places change as well. Jennifer felt this strongly. She had been away for eleven years.

　　Better: On returning after an eleven-year absence, Jennifer had a strong feeling of how people and places change.

　　Choppy: Beijing streets are crowded with taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent. The number has been rising rapidly in the last few years. The latest statistics show there are now 1.2 million vehicles in Beijing alone.

　　Better: Taxis, company cars and private vehicles owned by the newly affluent have crammed Beijing streets in rising numbers in the last few years - 1.2 million vehicles at last count.

　　Choppy: Moby Dick is a book. It is a long book. It is about a whale. A man named Ahab tries to kill it. Herman Melville wrote it.

　　Better: Herman Melville wrote a long book called Moby Dick. It is the story of a struggle of a man against a whale.

　　Choppy: Thousands of buildings met the same fate. This alone is now being preserved. It marks the center of the nuclear explosion. It is being preserved as a symbol. It symbolizes our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.

　　Better: Of the thousands of buildings that met the same fate, this alone, marking the center of the nuclear explosion, is now being preserved to symbolize our wish that there be no more Hiroshimas.

　　Choppy: I have always had a dream. My dream has been to be a famous writer. Everyone would read my books. I would become very wealthy.

　　Better: I have always dreamed of being a wealthy, famous writer, read by everyone.

　　Choppy: This is a wreck. It was formerly the stately Imperial Garden. It is preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.

　　Better: This wreck, formerly the stately Imperial Garden, is preserved deliberately as a reminder and symbol.