作者：wangjun2016
EDUCATION: EXAMINATION-ORIENTED OR QUALITY-ORIENTED
Today, the student of China have to be confronted with the reality. First, they must do their utmost for gaining a good score in each examination. In addition, they are demanded to increase their quality. The matter is difficult.
Nowadays, there is a growing concern over quality-oriented. Some people like to make their children enter the university at first, then considering the question, whereas others are incline to add the ability of their children while they are a baby. From listening, watching and creeping, they receive the education. When they will grow up, the children could take the superiority than the others. At the same time, I consider both of them are one-sided.
I maintain all children should develop their quality in an all- round way. In a word, the whole society should pay close attention to the problem of quality-oriented. Only in this way can our country and nation be the invincible position in the future.
何鋼評(píng)點(diǎn)：
這篇作文是寫(xiě)我們留的這道題的嗎？看起來(lái)不像，因?yàn)檫@幅圖畫(huà)和應(yīng)試教育/素質(zhì)教育沒(méi)什么太大關(guān)系�？荚嚨臅r(shí)候，要注意作文一定要切合題目本身，不要過(guò)度生搬硬套以前背過(guò)的作文。
如果不管內(nèi)容，單從語(yǔ)言的角度，這位同學(xué)的英語(yǔ)還可以，會(huì)使用比較多樣化的詞語(yǔ)(be confronted with, do one’s utmost, be demanded to, creep, in an all-round way, invincible等等)。但也有不少語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤(do their utmost for---for應(yīng)為to; quality-oriented是形容詞成分，后面應(yīng)該加名詞；be incline to應(yīng)為be inclined to; add和ability不能搭配。)有的句子內(nèi)容不完整(The matter is difficult)。
：★【請(qǐng)何老師修改】
作者：泰坦戰(zhàn)士
It is universally acknowledged that end-point is the symbol of sucess. It also means that one has achived his goal.
As is betrayed in the picture above, a runner reached his end-point but he doesn't stop becasue there is a new start-point under his feet. The track of his running is just a circle. What the picture reveals is thought-provoking.
The implied meaning of the picture, I think, can be briefly stated as follows. First of all, it doesn't means that success is the end of ones' struggle. The reason why we emphasize this point which is profound to many college students is obvious. When they've been enrolled in the university, they think that life is beautiful, and what they need to do is enjoying the free happy life .Even worse, while some do think that they have succeeded and they are absorbing in net suffering or engaged his most time with girlfriends or boyfriend, some others are confused and even give up his original dream.
So, everyone is obliged to aware that end-point just means a whole new beginning.
What the picture tries to convey is that success of life is more a circle than a beeline. But in my opinion, success or life is no merely a simply circle, it means a start point of a higher and more promising goal. Had we realized the essence of the end-point, life will be beautiful.
何鋼評(píng)點(diǎn)：考研大作文是按照內(nèi)容、結(jié)構(gòu)、語(yǔ)言的準(zhǔn)確性、語(yǔ)言的多樣化四點(diǎn)來(lái)評(píng)分的。
內(nèi)容：相當(dāng)不錯(cuò)。完整而且比較深入。但如果考官改卷不細(xì)心的話(huà)，可能會(huì)覺(jué)得你的舉例不夠清晰。
結(jié)構(gòu)：你完全清楚考研作文在結(jié)構(gòu)方面是怎么回事。
語(yǔ)言：可能因?yàn)槭谴蜃值木壒�，一開(kāi)始有些拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤(sucess/success, achive/achieve, becasue/because)，但后來(lái)就沒(méi)有了。第一句的end point前應(yīng)該加上定冠詞the。第二段第一句reached應(yīng)為has reached，start-point應(yīng)為starting-point或者start。別的地方還有一些語(yǔ)法和用詞錯(cuò)誤。套路和套句的實(shí)用比較得體而且準(zhǔn)確。文章總的來(lái)說(shuō)還是挺好的，得分應(yīng)該在15分左右。
最要命的是考試時(shí)有的好詞沒(méi)把握,或者有話(huà)寫(xiě)不出怎么辦?
作者：泰坦戰(zhàn)士
是賭博一把,把好詞按照影響寫(xiě)上去,還是弄一個(gè)俗的頂替下?這個(gè)問(wèn)題是指的在很多個(gè)好詞出現(xiàn)危機(jī)的情況下,也就是說(shuō)如果賭上了,文章很出彩,如果賭輸了,那么肯定是要扣分的吧?怎么辦呀?
用中文可以構(gòu)思出很多話(huà),但是一寫(xiě)就完蛋了,主要還是單詞的問(wèn)題,請(qǐng)問(wèn)最后能有補(bǔ)救嗎?謝謝老師了!祝愿老師過(guò)個(gè)好年!
何鋼評(píng)點(diǎn)：
我的建議是首先追求準(zhǔn)確，然后才談得上所謂的好詞。詞語(yǔ)的好與不好，關(guān)鍵不在單詞本身，而在于使用是否得當(dāng)。如果沒(méi)有把握，那么寧可先用簡(jiǎn)單一點(diǎn)的。當(dāng)然，你也可以愿賭服輸。
