新東方名師何鋼點評網友考研英語作文

　　作者：幽花飛雨　

　　The end, our destination which has always be viewed as a place to take a rest has in many cases proven out to be a new start. There is, as is portrayed in the picture, a man running to the end which seems a another start in the playground. The most striking features of the cartoon may be the dripping sweat of the runner.

　　Simple as the picture is, the author tends to convey a more profounding meaning that has to be taken seriously. In our lives, there are various success as well as frustration. However, the attitude of dealing with the same matter differs one to another. It is supported that we obliged to possess a kind of positive belief when we finished a long and tedious work. Only in this way can we view the accomplishment not just a end but a new start so that a fresh vigor injected ourselves to begin the new assignment.

　　A small case exist to support my view. Almost everyone would undergo the process of learning from kindergarden to universities. Every stage is both an end and a new start for the next stage so that we can enhance our skill to accommodate the changeable society.

　　何鋼評點：

　　內容：完整而且切題。第一段不僅描述了圖畫的主要方面，而且點了題。

　　結構：清晰連貫。

　　語言：profounding meaning應為profound meaning；there are various success as well as frustration改為there are successes as well as frustrations；differ one to another應為differ from one to another；It is supported that we obliged to possess…改為It is better to hold…；Only in this way這一句改為Only in this way can we view the accomplishment not just as an end but also a new start. so that后面沒有實質內容，可刪去；A small case exist to…exist用的不恰當，改為Take the following case as an example.最后一句里的enhance our skill to accommodate the changeable society不恰當，應該改為enhance our skills to fit in with the ever-changing society.

　　總的來說不錯，可以打16分左右。

　　我要喝酸奶　

　　Indicated above is a picture that shows an athlele is about to finish his running. Although he sweats all over, as far as he is concerned, a new start point will rise when he finishes the running, which means a terminal also stands for a new start point.

　　Simple as the picture is, the author tends to convey a significant meaning that has to be taken seriousl. It is widely accepted that we should not be satisfied with out present achievement. New challenges and competition never stop. The competitive society drives many people studying hard for higher education, even some people seek for opportunities to study abroad. Thanks to people's continuous development, our country will be more powerful. This tendency, i believe, will be going on an exhilarating direction.

　　Numerous cases can illustrate my view but one will suffice. Take myself for example. In order to make me have more competitivity in such a rapid development of society. I must go for the master degree after graduate from my collage. So, for me, a finish line is also the starting point.

　　何鋼評點：

　　內容：切題。但模仿范文的痕跡較濃。

　　結構：清晰。

　　語言：第一段中的as far as he is concerned屬于廢話，不要以為可以給你增加字數或者算閃光表達，應毫不猶豫刪去。start point應該改為starting point或者start；第二段中，drive應該是drive sb to do sth；even是副詞，不能連接兩個主謂結構，前面應該加上連詞and；第三段中，make me more competitivity應該是make me more competitive；after是介詞，后面接graduation或者graduating；a finish line？不行，a finishing line。但用詞的多樣性和句子的多樣化方面做得不錯。

　　得分15。

　　小作文是否用寫題目？

　　何鋼回答：如果考書信，不用寫。如果考notice，最好根據題目要求寫上。

　　bizarrecn　

　　As vividly depicted in the picture, the athlete at last reaches the final line in the running competition after making relentless and persistent efforts. However, to him to reach the final line in the running is by no means the end, instead, the starting point. Indeed, the picture profoundly reflects that in daily life when we reach an aim, we should not come to a halt, instead we should keep on and try to obtain much more achievements in future.

　　Like the athlete in the picture, we should not be content with what we have achieved at present, instead we should continue to be in hot pursuit of the more lofty and uphill goal. In daily life, we are confronted with the similar situation. For example, if I luckily pass this entrance examinations of postgraduates, it is by no means the end, instead I will continue to further study. More importantly, I will as always study diligently to absorb as much as possible in the campus.

　　Meanwhile, when we refer to the “The end is also the starting point ”, the starting point is not the same point as the beginning, because this starting point is more meaningful and colorful. For example, when I became a postgraduate, I should have much larger scope of knowledge and better idea of the terms like “l(fā)ife , work , study and the value of the world” so that we can better study and work.

　　The meaning of the above picture is really profound, which serves as a motto guiding us to keep on and never be satisfied with what we have achieved.

　　何鋼評點：

　　這是一篇好文章(你的文章一點也不bizarreJ)。內容和結構沒有任何大的問題。

　　語言：第一段，instead前加上連詞but；第二段，the similar situation改為similar situations；事實上，你的instead用得有點多，有的地方可以換用同義詞，比如on the contrary和but等。但你的作文在語言方面顯示出你想當扎實的英語基礎。

　　本篇文章可以拿18分左右。

　　tata_pig　

　　As is shown in the picture, an active young man arriving at the finishing line has to continue his new journey instead of stopping to have a rest.

　　It goes without saying that the drawings aim at revealing that "the finishing line is the next starting line". With the increasing pace of modern life, we shoud not satified with the present acchievement, for the competitions never stop. During whole of our life ,we have to study or work and never stop, for instance, when you graduate from your college, maybe you think you finished your studies. But in actually, there are so many new things you must study and your new life has just started. You must learn how to find a job and when you get a satisfied position you must master hoe to get along with your colleague and so on.

　　To sum up, as long as we are alive, we has to never stop. People in the society will develop a forward-looking attitude and make their life worth living and the world will be more beautiful as well.