何鋼評(píng)點(diǎn)：
內(nèi)容和結(jié)構(gòu)沒什么大問題。
語言：第二段，這只是一幅圖，所以the drawings改為the drawing；shoud not satified with應(yīng)該改為should not be satisfied with；During whole of our life改為In our life；you finished改為you have finished；in actually改為in fact或者actually；a satisfied position改為a satisfying position；第三段，we has to改為we have to(這個(gè)算較嚴(yán)重錯(cuò)誤)，最好改為we should never stop；其次，你的最后一句話完全照抄了高等教育出版社出版的某考生高分作文。我的建議是你可以學(xué)習(xí)和模仿，但照抄全句可能在考試中會(huì)帶來失分。
文章可得13分。
ceciliabreeze
The drawing shows that a man running to the ends will have a new start to go. And there is a sentence that the ends is also a new start under the picture. In fact, everybody will meet or have met this problem that "should we start with pians or keep no change?"
In many people' mind, the answer is to start. However, so many people keep the attitude only in their thought without any action. We often heard much "if", such as "if I went on study I would also be a successfull man like him". He may have so many reasons but all are excuse. Some people have a wrong idea that climbing a mountain to the summit can never do any efforts to climb the next higher mountain. But your success is only standing for your past. Do not let the past hinder your next success.
In such a competitive society, we have no chance to reject changes as long as we want to live, and furthermore live better. So why aren't we postive to face the challenge? Although you will meet lots of difficulties and even failures, it is better than doing nothing. All of us should always keep forword and have actions, such as we make our efforts to pass this exam today. Any efforts will have rewards. Failures also give us a lecture. Thus, we are always in the start and do avtions bravely.
何鋼評(píng)點(diǎn)：
內(nèi)容和結(jié)構(gòu)寫得還可以。
語言：第一段，to go刪掉；the ends錯(cuò)，應(yīng)為the end；第二段，excuse改為excuses；a wrong idea that…改為the wrong idea that(后面的同位語從句是個(gè)病句，看不太懂)；第三段，such as是介詞，不可以后面接句子。文章有一些短句內(nèi)容不夠完整，有的長句意思不明。
文章可以得10分左右。
